Domestic violence claims men too

And they call it a man’s world? Indian men are victims of domestic violence too but can not even come out in open and cry like women do!

http://timesofindia .indiatimes. com/Bangalore/ Domestic_ violence_ claims_men_ too/articleshow/ 3876342.cms

BANGALORE: Family problems are the cause of most suicides in the country. While the number of suicides increased by 28% over the last decade, they went up by 3.8% in the past year. Only 5% of these are attributed to financial
reasons while family problems triggered 23.8%, according to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) which recently published the 2007 statistics.

Members of the Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) on Monday drew attention to these statistics, which also show that every year, the number of men committing suicide is much higher than that of women.

More married men (57,593) committed suicide last year than married women (30,064). “In 11 years, 1,56,000 married men killed themselves due to domestic violence. Yet, the government doesn’t feel the need to protect
them. Society ridicules them as weak and irresponsible and cites financial reasons as the cause of their suicide. Also, there is a hue and cry when women commit suicide and the husbands’ family is dragged to the police station on suspicion that they must have forced her to suicide. For men, there is hardly any investigation, ” said Anil Kumar, secretary, SIFF.

The organization urged the government to set up a men’s welfare ministry and a national commission for men to study the problems, allocate a men’s budget, provide homes for those trapped in domestic violence, among other things.

Members of Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP), a sister concern of SIFF, identified that men not allowed custody of their children was also an issue of concern leading to stress and depression among divorced men and, in some cases, suicide.

Parents worsen rocky marriages

I completely agree: Shruti’s parents were so protective about their daughter that they wanted to control everything that happens in her life even after marriage. If they would not have interfered,  probably my wife and I would have understood each other and have had a happy married life.

*”Unwanted advice of parents should be avoided while tackling crisis situations in a relationship”*

A report published by a Florida-based marriage counsellor said parents may invariably accelerate the break up process if a marriage is on the rocks. “Unwanted advice of parents should be avoided while tackling crisis situations in a relationship. The couples ought to be independent to make their own decisions,” it said.

Dr Rajan Bhonsle, a Mumbaibased marriage counsellor says, “Parents are very possessive about their children. Somehow, they become jealous of the new person in their children’s life. They don’t want to give away their children
even after marriage and keep pouring in advice — which very often is one of the major causes of a marriage break up.” He feels the situation can become more vulnerable in the initial stage of a marriage, as there is a lack of understanding already, and parents’ biased advice just adds to it. This becomes an even bigger problem when the other partner is not liked by the parents.

However, Dr Jyoti Sangle, visiting psychiatrist at Hiranandani Hospital says, “A marriage is made between two mature individuals. They need to be responsible, and so you can’t solely blame parental advice for a split.” She says that parents always have a soft corner for their child, and so they often fail to analyse the situation rationally. It is also because there are so many personal and social emotions attached.

“Importantly, if a marriage is under stress, parents need to be informed about it. But always seek advice from professionals — someone who can look at the situation objectively, like marriage counsellors,” adds Dr Sangle.

Dr Bhonsle warns that as a mature individuals, couples must communicate with each other regularly and openly, as a lack of communication only adds to the problem. “Selfishness, ingratitude and lack of understanding are the
hallmarks of an unhappy marriage,” he adds, “And in this case, it is vital that the couple be independent enough to take their decisions.” Dr Sangle adds, “When you see problems in your marriage, always seek professional help. But understanding, communication and respect is important to keep a marriage alive.”
http://www.dc-epaper.com/DC/DCB/2008/12/23/ArticleHtmls/23_12_2008_110_004.shtml?Mode=1

Women cling to clothes longer than marriages

Women cling to clothes longer than hubbies

22 Dec 2008, 0000 hrs IST, ANI
http://timesofindia .indiatimes. com/Lifestyle/ Women_cling_ to_clothes_ longer_than_ hubbies/articles how/3797516. cms

Women keep their favourite piece of clothing for an average of 12 years – which is longer than the length of many marriages – according to a British survey.

The study also confirmed what many men already knew – despite splashing thousands of pounds on clothes women only wear a third of their wardrobe. The woman’s favourite item, which on an average costs less than 50 pounds, is kept for 12 years, the research for The Clothes Show Live revealed.

It may be a skirt, a dress, or a pair of shoes, but it is what a woman will feel the most attractive in, reports the Telegraph . The finding underlines the deep attachment many feel to particular pieces of clothing.

Gavin Brown, the show’s managing director, said, “It seems that women have a lasting affinity with their wardrobes – 12 years is a long time in the shelf life of an item of clothing.”

College life goes beyond kisses

Contrary to the common belief that boys are more sexual,  Read on to find out that girls are more characterless as compared to boys: “the percentage of non-virgins in the age group of 18 to 20 is 65.6 among girls and 63.3 among  boys”

BANGALORE, 24 DECEMBER: A quick kiss goodnight in the front seat of a car is where it all begins.  Running home after a hug in a crowded street, snuggling at the movie theatre  or holding hands while walking through a mall, relationships are becoming
more public by the second, and also more intimate.

Long gone are the days when relationships meant merely spending time with  one another. They have taken on new meanings today with the physical aspect in the spotlight.  Pre-marital sex is no longer considered a taboo among youngsters. According  to a survey conducted by Avishkaar, a counselling clinic, the percentage of
non-virgins in the age group of 18 to 20 is 65.6 among girls and 63.3 among  boys.

“Youngsters get carried away in the heat of the moment”, says Viren  Michael, a law student. Be it a social gathering or a party, if the  opportunity presents itself, youngsters on certain occasions can’t stop, or  say no, adds Viren.
Knowledge and exposure have triggered curiosity among teens. Unanswered or  wrongly answered curiosity can result in consequences such as Sexually  Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and unwanted pregnancies. “Youngsters must be
informed about contraceptive methods and STDs to make them responsible, ”  says Dr Chandra Mansukhani, a gynaecologist.

A survey of 20 college students in the city reveals that today’s teenagers  are willing to experiment with sex. When asked about unwanted pregnancies,  the same set of students felt that with the right protection such a problem
will not arise.  But then again, it is a known fact that a condom can only be 95 to 97%  effective. Pallavi Mehta, a journalism student, says that abortions are  found, more than rarely, among those her age.

Most don’t want to lose out on the fun aspect of life, she says, adding that abortions are the only way out of a pregnancy, unless the girl would rather spend her days raising a child instead of going out and living her
own life.

According to counsellors and parents, there are several reasons why  youngsters are experimenting with sex. In India, you need to be 16 to have a  sexual relationship; that’s the legal age. Affluence, changing lifestyles,
free access and consumption of alcohol and drugs allow young adults to shed  inhibitions faster.

Peer pressure and broken homes result in an increased urge to experiment.  “It is for this reason that it is necessary to have sex education in schools  as well as at homes today”, says a counsellor.  M Bhatt, a banker, agrees with this view. “Advertisements and TV serials  talk of westernised lifestyles. Our kids are exposed to this and are  naturally drawn in at a very young age,” he says.  Pre-marital sex is no longer an unspoken taboo; it is a reality that must  be accepted and dealt with. And awareness is the first step towards this.

With evolving trends in society, it is necessary to ensure the open availability of worthwhile information on sex.
Stereotyping sex into a taboo by a large chunk of society will only  complicate matters for future generations. That is a big worry.

http://epaper.dnaindia.com/dnabangalore/newsview.aspx?eddate=12/24/2008&pageno=4&edition=9&prntid=389&bxid=27935846&pgno=4

Woman jailed for issuing fake medical certificates

Yahoo News

Chandigarh, Dec 6 (IANS) A woman government doctor was Saturday sentenced to one year’s rigorous imprisonment by a special Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) court here for issuing fake medical certificates.

The doctor, Asha Kiran, was caught red-handed by the CBI along with her husband Vinod Kumar while issuing a fake medical certificate to a woman for money here in 2001.

Joginder Kaur, who got a fake medical certificate from Kiran, was working with the Chandigarh health department, and presented the medical certificate in the Punjab and Haryana High Court to get bail on medical grounds in a murder case.

The complainant in the murder case got a whiff of the fake medical certificate and sent a decoy patient to Kiran. The patient was asked to pay Rs.6,000 for a fake certificate.

The CBI then laid a trap and nabbed Kiran.

http://in.news.yahoo.com/43/20081206/812/tnl-doctor-jailed-for-issuing-fake-medic.html

Case boomerangs on dowry givers

This may act as a reminder that “giving” dowry is also an offence. In perhaps the first of its kind case, a Noida court has ordered the registration of a criminal case against a woman, her parents and brother for allegedly giving dowry.

The Noida chief judicial magistrate ordered the registration of an FIR against Sarita (name changed) and her family members after her husband Hari (name changed) filed a complaint alleging that they were trying to extort money by filing a dowry demand case against him. Hari is an engineer.

Hari, who spent a week in jail after the allegation, said the police did not verify the financial background of his in-laws who claimed they had given Rs 12 lakh and a Maruti Alto as dowry to him.

Hari also contended that, in any case, dowry-givers are considered accomplices under the Dowry Prohibition Act. Hari used the Right to Information (RTI) Act to challenge his wife’s claim and the police’s refusal to register a case on his complaint.

The RTI reply showed that the police registered the case against Hari on the verbal complaint of Sarita and that the charges against him were never verified, his counsel Pradeep Nawari said.

The Delhi High Court had recently said women or their parents who go ahead with marriage despite dowry demands from the bridegroom’s side would have to be seen as “accomplices to the crime” and “will face prosecution” under the Dowry Prohibition Act.

Newspaper link: Court orders FIR against wife

So it’s clear that girls marry only for money

With the current meltdown in the IT industry, girls have started to prefer other industries. So, all the guys out there, remember that marriage is only a business for girls!

http://andhracafe.com/index.php?m=show&id=37323

The plight of the software engineers seems to mounting each passing day. As if the loss of jobs is not enough the guys are in low demand in the matrimonial area also.

Parents of prospective brides and the brides themselves are rejecting proposals from Software Engineers. More over if the guy happens to be in the US it is a definite no.

The biggest demand is for Government employees or individuals from well to do business families. Many parents feel that despite the lower incomes the government jobs provide security is a big plus. They are also insulated against market fluctuations. The IAS and IPS officers are the people who are in the greatest demand now. Also they are willing to pay dowry to get a Government employed son in law.

Old woman seduces teenager before accusing him of rape

The old woman was seducing a teenager and meanwhile her son returned. She was embarrassed and in order to cover up her lust, she accused to poor teenager of rape. But look at how the media portrays the incident:

BANGALORE: A 16-year-old boy allegedly raped a 54-year-old woman when she was alone in a farmhouse in Yelahanka, where she worked as a labourer.

The woman was working on the farm, belonging to Rajanna, and her son worked in a private factory nearby. On Tuesday, the woman’s son had purchased a bird from a vendor, Kumar, and paid him Rs 10. He had asked Kumar to collect the remaining Rs 10 on Wednesday.

On Wednesday afternoon, Kumar went to collect the money, when the woman was alone. She asked Kumar to come later. Realizing there was no one in the house, Kumar closed the door and raped her. Police are on the look-out for Kumar, who is absconding.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Cities/Bangalore/Teen_rapes_54-year-old_woman/rssarticleshow/3710316.cms

I LOVE SHRUTI VERMA

My legal blog can be found at http://iitbiimb498a.wordpress.com/

***All my blogs are to help people fight against injustice. Most of the arsenal that I have is from a man’s side but I offer advice to genuine woman too***

This blog is dedicated to more than 56,000 married men who commit suicide annually in India.

The intention of this blog is twofold – to share with you experiences of my marriage, and to create awareness that there are ample number of cases where women are cunning and the men suffer.

In India, we always respect women. We respect women to such an extent that we believe that they can never be wrong (Abla Nari). With changing times, the society needs to start treating women as equals (today women have a lot of privileges).

I have myself been implicated in several dowry related criminal cases. Shruti has been staying separately since Feb 2006 but we are still very much legally married.

She even tried to claim maintenance by falsely claiming to be unemployed when she was employed with one of the largest Indian software companies.