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Read on to know what happens to men who marry in India

Posts Tagged ‘guna’

The beaten husbands’ club

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on June 20, 2009

Poor Indian husbands as usual getting taunted and beaten by their wives

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Men gang up to take on Section 498 (A) misuse

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on May 19, 2009

This is Mahesh Kalge, a techie. He and his folks were charged for his wife’s suicide. The only thing is, his wife is alive and kicking. He says she misused the law to torture him.
By Chaitraly Deshmukh
Posted On Friday, May 15, 2009 at 05:16:08 AM

Kalge tells his story

We were to shift to a new flat in Chinchwad. My wife was angry  because my parents were to stay with us. On Dec 28, 2007, she drank ‘poison’ and informed my mother. My mother took her to Lokmanya Hospital. After she was cured, my mother informed her family. They then came with 60 people, abused us and filed a case against us under Section 498 (A). The next day, when we applied for bail, the police slapped a case of suicide abetment. We were put in jail for 27 days, while my wife went to live with her parents taking 37 tolas of gold and my infant son. In Nov ‘08, a chargesheet was filed against us. Only then I knew she was alive. Since then I have been involved with Save Family.”

Mahesh Kalge (30), a techie from Chinchwad, was arrested along with his parents in December ‘07 for their alleged involvement in abetting the suicide of his estranged wife.

Kalge’s wife had left their house, accusing him and his family of harassing her. As a result they had to spend several days in jail. He is now taking on the law that makes villians out of even good men — and there are many like him.

Who wronged whom
Recalling the agony, Mahesh says, “We were about to shift to a new flat. My wife was angry as my parents were to stay with us.

On December 28, ‘07, she gulped poison and immediately informed my mother. My mother promptly took her to Lokmanya Hospital where she was admitted and cured.”

He adds, “After she recovered, my mother informed her parents about the incident. That evening, they arrived with 50-60 people, abused and manhandled my parents, my married sister and me.

Then they filed a case against us under Indian Penal Code section 498 (A) and we were arrested. The next day, when we applied for bail, the police slapped us with IPC section 306 for abetting suicide.

We languished in jail for 27 days while my wife went to live with her parents taking 37 tolas of gold and other belongings from my house. That was the last time I saw my son. He was five months old.”

“In November ‘08, a chargesheet was filed against us. Then I realised she was still alive, living with her parents. I  started looking for information on misuse of laws and came to know about SFII.

I‘ve been associated with them ever since. Although I am not a lawyer, I know most laws protecting women now. In fact, the police should have filed a case for attempted suicide against my wife but she got away with it and we suffered.”

Mission save the family

According to the law

Article 498A of the IPC states that if a husband or any of his relatives subject the wife to cruelty which could drive her to commit suicide, seriously harm her physically or mentally in any way or unlawfully demand any
property or money from her, they are liable to be imprisoned for upto three years and also may be liable to pay a fine.

Today Mahesh is a member of Save Family, a subsidiary of the Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), and vehemently promotes that various provisions of the Indian Penal Code (IPC), the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961, the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005,  the Criminal Procedure Code, 1973, under the relevant provisions of the Hindu Marriage Act, the Special Marriages Act and Guardians and Wards Act, 1890 are being used by women to harass men.

To support his argument, he quotes the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) report, “The acts once promulgated to protect women are now taking their toll on men.

While 52,483 married men committed suicide , in ‘05, across the country in ‘06 it went up to 55,452. The number of married women committing suicide was 28,188 in ‘05 and 29,869 in ‘07.”

“NCRB’s findings reveal unscrupulous women who attack husbands and in-laws with frivolous dowry torture complaints is a chief causes of suicides among married men. Section 498 (A) of the IPC has been handy for women to torture their husbands and in-laws.”

Women are not abusers
Of course, womens’ organisations refuse to buy his argument. Julia George, a lawyer and nun associated with the Pune’s Stree Wani says, “The law is never misused. Women  do not usually take such drastic measures.”

Dr Neelam Gorhe, founder, Stree Adhar Kendra, says, “Most women never misuse laws. There may be  few cases where they have acted on the wrong advice of lawyers and resorted to such tactics, but most harassment cases are real. If conviction rates in such cases is as low as 10 per cent, it is because they aren’t investigated  well.”

SIFF-ting through issues
But Mahesh refuses to accept this. “We are not against laws that protect women. We are against women who misuse them. We are specifically fighting against the abuse of old, sick people and kids.

We are fighting against wives who force men to disown parents and live as per their wishes or force in-laws on their husbands.

We’re trying to create   awareness of ‘legal terrorism’ going on in the name of women’s empowerment. We are trying to protect the Indian family system from the onslaught of greedy and unscrupulous women,” he says.

“In Pune, SIFF has successfully executed mass awareness campaigns by staging dharnas and rallies to encourage victims to come forward and protest against the misuse of laws by women.

We hold counselling sessions, run a toll-free helpline for harassed men and offer advice online. We are working constructively,” he says.

Mahesh accuses the cops of being high-handed when acting on harassment complaints by women. “The law is partial to begin with. To make matters worse, police do not spare senior citizens alleged to be tormentors.

They are detained, arrested and put in jail on the basis of the complainant’s word. Proper investigations don’t take place and at times there are attempts to misrepresent the case to the judiciary,” he says.

The law’s fair
But Gorhe denies the law is partial. She insists, “Laws are not made in a hurry. All aspects are considered while drafting bills and promulgating them.

Laws are the pillar of the Indian Constitution. We never misrepresent cases. All we do is encourage distressed women to take a stand and help them.

If a woman rightfully demands money for her sustenance, how can it be an abuse of the law? This is nothing but propaganda by men who have trouble with the law,” she fumes.

Julia George feels such cases must be handled with care. “Even I avoid asking women to file cases under the IPC which may result in widening the rift. Normally women too are sensitive towards their spouses and in-laws and are reluctant to lodge criminal cases.

To file a criminal case, a woman has to struggle a lot and convince police officials. I feel the Domestic Violence Act is the best tool to deal with such cases. It leaves open the possibility for a reunion,” she says.

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Be Vocal: Learning Series – 1

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on May 19, 2009

I will call this series ‘Learning Series’ – the intention is that the reader can learn from my mistakes.

Be Vocal: the problem with us men is that we do not talk.

When I was younger, I heard the following reality:

Question: How to spread news faster than BBC?’. Answer: Tell a woman!

We do not talk when our marriage is going through a rough time, we do not talk when we are involved in the legal battle, and we do not talk even after the battle is over. Let me take all the three phases separately:

Phase 1: Marriage going through a rough time

Have you ever seen a husband talking bad about his wife? The chances are very less, but one can surely imagine women discussing with other women the problems they have with their husbands.

That is the basis difference between men and women – that leads to increased problems for men.

Husband and wife will have some difference of opinion leading to an argument. Within 24 hours, the world will know the wife’s version of the argument.

Next time, you two have some disagreement – within 24 hours, the world will again know your wife’s version and start to think may be you are quarrelsome.

Third time, you get into a heated discussion, and your wife tells the world about it, the world will actually start to believe that u are illogical and ill-treat your wife.

Now, all this while you did not discuss about your problems with anyone, because you did not want to defame your wife, but she went around talking to the whole world about her problems, and slowly and steadily they started to believe that you are a problematic case.

Phase 2: Legal battle is going on

When the legal battle is going on, husbands prefer not to discuss it within their social circles; while wives will keep shouting on the top of their voice about how they were allegedly tortured for dowry!

In this whole process, the husband gets very secluded while the wife generates many supporters. The common people in our society always support the women by default. On top of that, she would keep on telling them sad stories and crying in front of them to generate even more sympathy and support.

Phase 3: Legal battle has ended

Nothing is permanent, so all legal battles also come to an end. Husband is acquitted in 98% of the dowry related cases (Refer to National Crime Research Bureau statistics), still wives keep on filing such cases? Why.

Because men are not vocal. When a wife manages to win a court battle, she would be vocal about her success, and 100 people would know about it. While, when a husband wins a court battle, he just keeps quiet about it. Hence, everyone hears more husbands losing court cases.

Hence, the potention 498a wives think that they would be able to torture their husbands in the courts (inspired by the success stories of their predecessors).

Summary: Bottling up of emotions and frustration inside is not good – neither for your health nor for your social standing. Health-wise, you would develop more and more stress, leading to medical ailments. Quit the conventional notion that being a man means being individualistic. One can share his problems and still be strong.

Be vocal, keep the society informed about what is happening with you – firstly it will help you win friends and secondly it will help the society understand that women perpetuate domestic violence too.

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Listen to whatever your wife says: SC tells husbands

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on May 19, 2009

Supreme Court of IndiaNew Delhi If you want to buy matrimonial peace just do whatever your wife says!

This is not some piece of advice from a marriage counsellor, rather it is from the country’s apex court.

A vacation bench of justices Markandeya Katju and Deepak Verma observed, “Bibi joh boltee hai woh sunno (listen to whatever your wife says), as otherwise it could land you in trouble. Because if you do not listen to her, you will suffer the consequences.”

Hum sab bhogi hai (we are all sufferers),” the bench said in a lighter vein.

The bench further said that a husband has to accept the suggestion of a wife irrespective of the fact whether it is sensible or not.

If your wife asks you to put your face that side, put it that side. If she says, put it this side, then put it this side. Otherwise you will face trouble.Hum sub bhogi hai,” the bench remarked again.

The interesting suggestions from the apex court evolved on Tuesday during a matrimonial case involving an Air Force official Deepak Kumar who complained that his estranged wife Manisha had ruined him and his family by implicating them in false criminal cases including sodomy.

The couple got married 17 years ago but matrimonial disputes surfaced between the two soon after marriage. A district court in Chandigarh dismissed Deepak’s plea for divorce as Manisha opposed it, but a single judge of the Punjab and Haryana High Court granted decree of judicial separation.

On an appeal from Manisha, a division bench granted the decree of divorce as the marriage “had irretrievably broken down” besides directing Rs 10 lakh maintenance amount from Deepak to her.

Aggrieved by the high court’s order Manisha filed the appeal in the apex court challenging the decree of divorce. Deepak’s counsel argued that Manisha even though had implicated her husband and his family in a host of criminal cases was yet opposing the divorce despite the marriage breaking down irretrievably.

The vacation bench however, posted the matter for further hearing to July last week as there was no urgency in dealing with the matter.

“You have waited for 17 years, so wait for a few more days,” the bench said while switching over to the next item on the agenda.

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Wife kills husband in Shimoga

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on May 18, 2009

Look at the Choice of words
– Harrassed Wife
– Drunkard Husband
– Incessant harrassment
– HE fought with HER
– He doubted the integrity of wife
– Srinivas Naik Slep after ROUTINELY quarelling with Wife
– Frustrated Geeta strangelled
– She confessed to crime( Brave honest girl )

So this is a case where a poor man is dead and all the negative derogatory
adjectives fall on him. poor man gets blamed even after his death..
This is a case where a woman brutally commits a cold blooded Murder, and the media are adding their niceties around her ..

WOWOW.. Media and its Gender Biassed Opinions…

*Shimoga, May 18:* In an incident that occurred on the night of Saturday
May 16 in the town, a daily wager named Srinivas Naik (33) was murdered by his wife, who was unable to cope with his incessant harassment.

Reportedly, Srinivas Naik doubted the integrity of his wife Geeta Bai (24)
and fought with her on a daily basis, alleging that she had an illicit relationship, after getting drunk.

On Saturday too, Srinivas Naik slept after routinely quarrelling with his
wife. Frustrated Geeta strangulated her husband when he was sleeping, by
tightening a rope around his neck. She confessed to the crime when the
policemen, who were alerted by her neighbourers, questioned her.

The policemen of Tunga Nagar police station here have registered a case.

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Harassed husband commits suicide

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on May 17, 2009

BANGALORE: Lokesh (30), who was called by the Nandini Layout police for a settlement in a family dispute, allegedly consumed poison before entering the police station on Thursday and breathed his last on Saturday morning. The family held his wife responsible for his act and demanded compensation.

Following a missing complaint lodged by Poornima about her husband who had allegedly gone missing six months ago, Nandini Layout police had started the investigation.

“We were informed that Lokesh had come to the city and told his parents to send him to the station.

Poornima had alleged dowry harassment and that Lokesh’s parents had hidden him, and they planned to get him married again. As per the law, we had called Lokesh’s parents to the station for questioning earlier” said Sunil Kumar HT, Inspector Nandini Layout police station.

A relative said that Lokesh was being harassed by Poornima and this is his second suicide attempt.

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Dog exempted from appearing in court

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on May 17, 2009

Chhotu, a dog who has been dragged in a 10 month old case, finally got a repreive from a court here from making rounds of courtroom for its production in a case lodged against his mistress for breaching peace and tranquillity.

Sub-Divisional Officer Ashwini Dattatrey Thackeray yesterday dropped a case against Chhotu’s mistress Raj Kumari Devi on the ground that the time-frame fixed under section 107 of CrPC for hearing the case has expired.

The six-month time-frame has already expired in the case and hence it was being dropped against Raj Kumari Devi, the SDO said.

The court has dropped the case on technical ground and it was never heard on its merit as the case has been deferred for umpteen times during floods and Lok Sabha elections since the filing of the case in July last year, said Dilip Kumar Dipak who defended the dog and his mistress.

The court had ordered that the mongrel would be produced on every date alongwith his mistress Raj Kumari Devi but since the case stood no longer, the pet animal would not be required to appear in the court, the counsel said.

Shambhu Das and Jagdish Das had alleged that the dog was mad and could cause serious injuries to the residents of Tatmatoli locality of the town area.

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Marry shades of grey!

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on May 16, 2009

Read below an article from Deccan Herald where it says girls think guys are hiding some ‘handicaps’ if they do not ask for dowry!

Harassed husbands? The SC’s recent observation calling for a review of dowry laws (on the grounds that they are often misused) might have women’s organisations up in arms but more and more ‘harassed’ husbands have been raising their voices after being falsely implicated. Sriranjitha Jeurkar investigates why many dowry cases no longer remain plain black and white today

My name is Kumar. I am 28 years old. I wanted to marry a poor girl, so that I could help a poor family. When I told my father about this, he suggested that I marry the daughter of one of his distant relatives, from a town in Andhra Pradesh. I believed that when he had chosen nothing but the best for me until now, he could not go wrong in this decision either. I agreed. I didn’t know much about the family, except that the girl’s father was a bus conductor. We demanded no dowry and even agreed to foot the wedding expenses.
It was a perfect wedding. My wife and I lived together for a month and she went back to her home for some rituals. That’s when I realised I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease from her. I was too embarrassed to tell my parents. When I asked my wife about it, she confessed that she had had an affair with someone else and had married me due to pressure from her family. “You didn’t ask for dowry, so we thought you had something to hide too,” she said.
I was shocked. But I wanted to save my marriage, so I asked her to come with me for treatment. She wasn’t interested. She told me that she would give me a divorce by mutual consent if I gave her Rs 5 lakh. And she didn’t want to discuss the matter with her parents because she was afraid they’d take away the money from her.
Still, I was glad she had told me the truth. I told my parents. Then my company sent me abroad for a project. We applied for divorce by mutual consent, and before I left, both of us went to the family court on six occasions. After I returned to India, she went back home saying that her mother was ill, and didn’t return — not even to attend the hearings. All of a sudden, she started saying that she didn’t want a divorce, and demanded that I pay her Rs 25,000 a month as maintenance. She claimed that I was earning far more than I really was, that my family had a lot of property (which is untrue) and said we had thrown her out of the house because she refused to bring Rs 2 lakh from her parents. She claimed that her family had spent a sum of Rs 10 lakh to conduct the wedding. She even went to the extent of saying that we had forged her signature on the divorce petition!
She filed a dowry case, and I was named as an accused — along with my mother, dad, cousin and aunt. I was taken into custody and stayed there for seven days, despite my family producing documents, which refuted her claims. She told me that if I paid her Rs 10 lakh in cash, she would withdraw the case. But she also had another demand —that I give it to her in writing that I am impotent.
My aged parents had to wait for three months to get bail. We were stripped, and our fingerprints taken, as if we were petty criminals.
Until then, we knew very little about the law, and even less about Section 498A. My parents, at one point were on the verge of committing suicide. Due to all the stress, my performance at work suffered. I was terminated. Three years later, the case is still on — and I am still looking for a job. I received three job offers — all of which were withdrawn once they conducted a background check and found out that I had a case pending against me. My future looks uncertain, but there’s one thing I’m sure about: I have lost faith in the institution of marriage. I will never marry again.

Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code (Dowry Prohibition and Prevention of Marital Cruelty) is aimed at protecting the woman from harassment — from either her husband or her in-laws. But the loopholes in the law have led to misuse by women across the country. The common perception, that a helpless woman is abused for dowry by her husband’s family and the law is her only saviour — is being turned on its head.
Bangalore-based advocate Shankarappa, who has been practicing law for the last 18 years, handling many high-profile cases, says that he has seen at least 120 cases of dowry harassment in his career, “But unfortunately about 100 of the complainants had falsely implicated their husbands and husbands’ families.”
Advocate M T Nanaiah says that approximately 80 per cent of the 600 dowry-related cases he has handled over 32 years have turned out to be false implications. “Most of the remaining 20 per cent cases are mostly small disagreements that arise in every household. They get converted into dowry harassment cases.”

No warrant, no investigation

What is it about the anti-dowry law that makes such blatant misuse possible? First, the entire case hinges on the statement or allegations made by the wife.  A single oral complaint can land the husband’s family in jail. No investigation or warrant is needed before police arrest the husband or his family, or begin proceedings. It is non-bailable; the accused must appeal before the court to seek bail. It is not compoundable: the complaint cannot be withdrawn. Worst of all, there is no punishment against the petitioner if the complaint is proved false. Besides, legal experts argue, since the police do not require any proof before arrest, it takes away a basic human right.
“Once a woman lodges a complaint, the husband and his relatives are implicated. Even the police register complaints without investigation. They drag the husband, aged in-laws and even young children to the station. The charges may be proved false later, but a criminal record is a criminal record, after all,” says Shankarappa.
Lawyers say that most women who file false dowry complaints do so for a few common reasons: to get out of a marriage; to get money, or a favourable divorce settlement; if they had a premarital affair, and were married off by force; for child custody; if they want an attitude change in the behaviour of the husband or the family; to take revenge on their husbands, or in most cases, to get out of a joint family setup.
And ironically, the law that aims at helping women, ends up harassing women too. The Save Indian Family Foundation contends that on an average, 30,000 women are jailed every year in connection with dowry cases. “Once the woman files a complaint, the mother-in-law, sister-in-law are also arrested. Why restrict the law to protecting only the wife? What kind of protection do these women have?” asks Philip, whose family was falsely implicated in a case. Virag Dhulia, a member of the Bangalore Chapter of the Save Indian Family Foundation — an organisation that provides support to harassed husbands — narrates his horror story. “A few months after our wedding, my wife went back to her parents’ home and didn’t return. She said she wouldn’t return unless I agreed to live away from my parents. Then her family filed a dowry harassment case against us,” he says.
Dhulia recalls how his parents, who are in their sixties, suffered for months — the fear of being arrested, anxiety about the regular court visits, and the outcome of the case, the shame and humiliation, all adding to their health problems.
In what is probably the first such instance in the State, Dhulia has filed a complaint against his wife for giving dowry. “My wife has, in her complaint, stated that she and her parents gave me dowry in the presence of their relatives. According to the Dowry Prohibition Act, taking, giving and abetting the giving of dowry is a crime — the giver and taker are equally culpable. I have not accepted dowry; but if as per her claim, she says she has given dowry, then she is guilty too.”
He says that at first, the police refused to file an FIR. “Then I went to the ACMM Court. The magistrate there took cognizance of this complaint and asked the jurisdictional police to investigate into the matter and file a report,” he explains.
Even four months after the court’s order, no action has been taken, Dhulia alleges. “I have now filed an RTI application to get information about the progress of the investigation, but have still not received any info.”
Help is at hand
The social stigma was what prompted Arun Murthy, yet another ‘498A victim’ to set up Sangyabalya — a helpline for ‘husbands and families victimised by the anti-dowry laws.’
The helpline was set up in 2003, after Murthy’s sister-in-law filed a dowry harassment complaint against his younger brother. “She was from an orphanage, and she said we had demanded dowry. It was ridiculous,” Murthy says. After his entire family — including his mother and sister were implicated — Murthy’s brother, a hardware engineer, lost his job and became a mental wreck. “I saw how the system works — people are arrested on Friday evening, so they cannot get bail. They have to stay in jail till Monday. And consider this — if you are a government employee, and you are in jail for more than 24 hours, even if under false accusations, then your job is in jeopardy.”
Murthy then wrote to a newspaper, and received many calls from other victims. That’s when he set up a helpline for these harassed husbands. A few months later, Sangyabalya was registered as an NGO.  “A lot of people are on the verge of suicide after being arrested. We give them moral support.  Sometimes, the lawyers take them for a ride, so we extend legal aid too. But most importantly, it is a collective voice for proper representation of our problems,” he says.
The Save Indian Family Foundation, another organisation that aid people implicated under Section 498A, was first set up as an online community, but later evolved into an NGO. The Foundation now has set up helplines for men in distress. The members of the Bangalore chapter meet at Cubbon Park every Saturday. New members who approach the Foundation are given moral support, and legal advice. “Usually when someone is implicated like this, he tends to feel that he is the only one facing such a problem. When they come here and see that they are not alone, then they feel that they have some support.”
Members of the foundation, who come from various backgrounds — from software to government service — study the law and help each other with inputs on how to fight their cases.
There are several other organisations working for these ‘harassed husbands’, but most of them have common demands. “The problem arises from extravagant marriages. The giving and taking of dowry should be tackled. No one makes it a point to stop this at the source. After all, prevention is better than cure,” says Dhulia.
Murthy agrees, “There should be a mandatory registration of marriages with a record of all gifts exchanged. These gifts are referred to as dowry when things go wrong. And such disputes are family matters. There should be proper counselling available, before the woman goes to the police.”
He adds, “The law in itself is not bad. What we need is thorough checks and balances to ensure that it is not misused. We assume that women are all white and men, all black. We must acknowledge that there are shades of grey everywhere.”
But most important, these organisations say, is to make provision for action against those who file false complaints, and to ensure that no arrests are made without proper evidence. “Once the complainant sends her husband and his family to jail, chances of reconciliation are few. She thinks its a victory. But that’s the only victory, things go downhill from there,” Murthy says.
That probably underlines the need for a thorough review of the law as it exists now. The loopholes have to be plugged, activists say, and soon. For the welfare of the women, so that genuine victims of dowry harassment do not suffer because of those who have misused the law. That is the only hope, for the welfare of hundreds of women across the country.

(Some names have been changed to protect identities.)

Review necessary?

Justice J D Kapoor of the Delhi High Court had recommended a review of the dowry laws. He suggested that Sections 406 (misappropriation of dowry articles) and 498A (harassment for dowry) be made bailable and if necessary, compoundable, in cases where no grave physical injury has been inflicted.
He had observed, “There is a growing tendency to come out with inflated and exaggerated allegations roping in each and every relation of the husband and if one happens to be of higher status or of vulnerable standing, then he or she becomes an easy prey for blackmailing and bargaining.” Some suggestions of the judge are:
Such cases should be investigated by civil authorities, and cognisance taken only after findings. Only police officer above the rank of ACP should investigate harassment and misappropriation of items. A DCP should investigate dowry death cases.
When minor, schoolchildren are named, they should not be arrested or sent to court.

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Wife declares husband Dead for Pension

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on December 31, 2008

Indian women are great – they can go to any extent for their selfish motives. Wife declares the husband dead for getting his pension money and now the husband is running arond courts to prove that he is alive!

‘Dead’ man in legal battle to prove he’s alive

30 Dec 2008, 1632 hrs IST, PTI

http://timesofindia .indiatimes. com/India/ Dead_man_ in_legal_ battle_to_ prove_hes_ alive/articlesho w/3913610. cms

KHARAR, PUNJAB: Sital Singh Bagi’s life sounds like a script of a Bollywood masala flick.

The 67-year-old ex-IAF man has been fighting a nine-year legal battle to prove that he is the “real” Sital Singh Bagi and not “dead” as his family had got him declared after he fled home allegedly to escape terrorists and did not surface for a decade.

A retired warrant officer of Indian Air Force (IAF), Bagi claimed he was settled with his family and owned a milk dairy in Delhi when three terrorists confronted him in December 1987 and asked him to join their group.

The terrorists threatened to kill him and a terrorized Bagi left his wife and four children at his ancestral house in Gurdittpura village in Patiala and fled, he claimed.

Bagi said he went to Orissa, where he spent 3-4 years, and then moved to Kolkata, before going to Dhaka in Bangladesh, where he became a priest at Gurdwara Nanak Shahi.

Bagi said he returned to his native place in December 1998 as he was “no longer afraid”, but his wife refused to recognize him and so did his children..

They also threatened him with “dire consequences” , if he again approached them, Bagi alleged.

He then went to the IAF authorities for release of his pension, but was shocked when he was told that his name was struck off the pension rolls and his wife was getting the pension after she produced a court decree declaring him dead.

Bagi moved a civil court in Rajpura in 1999 to get the decree declared null and void and for restoration of pension.

Though the court prevented Bagi’s wife from further withdrawing the family pension it reserved its order on the previous court decree pronounced in November 1996.

IAF officer incharge (Pensions) Wg Cdr P.R. Sudhakar said that Bagi had “reappeared” but his pension could not be restored till a decision on the civil suit comes.

In a statement filed before the court, the IAF officials had not disputed the identity of Bagi while Naseeb Kaur said that she cannot say that plaintiff is same Sital Singh with whom she got married.

Though Bagi’s claim was corroborated by Gurdittpura village sarpanch Mohan Singh and two other villagers in court, Bagi’s wife and children have yet to conclude their evidence.

Bagi’s counsel Rajinder Singh Raju said the case is in advanced stage and February 15 has been fixed as next date of hearing. “We have produced documentary and physical evidence beyond any doubt to prove that Bagi is alive,” Raju said.

Bagi also filed a complaint before Patiala police in July 2008 against his wife and sons seeking criminal action but the police asked him to pursue his case in the court.

Left with no source of income or shelter, Bagi is now being taken care of by one of his old service mates in Chamkaur Sahib, near Ropar.

“I procured evidence of several of my service colleagues and native village head, but I’m still waiting for the court order,” he rued.

However, Naseeb says, “I got married to Sital Singh and two sons were born from our wedlock but I cannot say this man is my husband or not.”

“My husband disappeared in 1987. I lodged his missing report with the police and after he failed to appear, I got a police investigation report certifying that he could not be traced despite their best efforts.”

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Aamir Khan starrer Ghajini creates problems for married men

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on December 31, 2008

Aamir Khan starrer Ghajini is creating problems for married men. Wives are getting ever-new ideas to control their husbands……


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