Dedicated to my wife…

Read on to know what happens to men who marry in India

Yes I demanded dowry, but never got it

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on October 16, 2008

All the characters referred to below are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely co-incidental and unintentional

Dowry? A sensational word, isn’t it? Evokes strong emotions for the ‘married woman’. Unlawful demands from the husband’s side to the bride’s side like a scooter, car, fridge, cash, jewels, etc. etc. Seems like a scene straight from a social cinema, depicting the ‘married woman’ as a liability. This is what the media has always represented dowry and dowry seeking money mongers as, and so this is what the society has come to know of it.

But the definition of dowry is far wider than that entailed above as put in Indian Penal Code Section 498A as any ‘unlawful demand’ made by husband and / or his relatives. But what is ‘unlawful’ has not been described. It has been left to anyone’s imagination and depends on the intensity of the ‘married woman’s’ tears at time of the complaint.

The other day I happened to meet Jignesh, who has been accused under section 498A for allegedly making ‘unlawful demand’ to his wife. So I happened to chat with him as to what was the need to make any ‘unlawful demand’ from his wife when he himself earned a handsome salary working with an MNC at a prestigious position? Excerpts of my chat with him,

Me: “Well sad to know that you are facing criminal charges, but I fail to understand that when you are yourself so well placed, what made you demand?”

Jignesh: “So you seem to have decided the verdict yourself as is evident from your question.”

Me: “Hey man, I did not mean that.”

Jignesh: “It’s OK, am used to it, but it is a truth that I demanded dowry from her. You heard it right, Yes I demanded dowry but never got it.

Me: “I see. Do you mind sharing your demands?”

Jignesh: “Not at all. I demanded our cultural values from her; I demanded as much respect from her for my parents, as I have for her parents. I demanded support from her to build my family. I demanded a feeling of oneness with contemporaries and love for the young ones in our family. I demanded restraint and patience to understand each other to build a stronger familial foundation. I demanded an anticipated expectation to be as much loyal and faithful to me as I am to her. Since she and her parents, especially her mom did not have all these, they thought these demands were ‘unlawful ‘, and filed a case on me and my innocent family under Section 498A IPC.

Me: “I see. Hats off to you and sorry once again for that question, it was just framed badly, not intended that way.”

Jignesh: “That is fine; this is the pill society gives to victims of 498A, the Anti – dowry law. But I have no qualms in saying that I demanded dowry, for if what I demanded amounts to dowry in today’s era of Woman Protection and Woman Empowerment, then so be it. After all times are changing. Definitions of 1960 cannot work today.”

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6 Responses to “Yes I demanded dowry, but never got it”

  1. kaushal jha said

    Dear sir/madam,

    I have married last year. But my marraige life is very disturb. Due to my father in law and my wife. I face opposite of dowry law. In dowry boy demand any things to wife and her family But with me girl and her father demand any time cash or demand help by cash to me. I never mind it. But last august month i got a baby. After her birth her father get more strong and he always says to me and my family now i am much stronger and i take anything. In this month november he file a case in karkarduma court. I dont know it is 125 or 498.
    He theatring me for involving dowry case.
    So, please how can i save me and my family.

  2. 498a Misuse Killer said

    WHAT IS DOWRY & WHAT IS NEED FOR 498A?

    Dowry is a tradition for centuries through out world.

    In whole world women get share from father’s wealth & is called dowry.

    The Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay), which is one of the biggest cities in the world, and the city of Tangiers, in Morrocco, were given as a dowry by the Portuguese crown to the British when King Charles II of England, Scotland and Ireland married Catherine of Braganza, a princess of Portugal in 1661.

    What is the daughter’s share in the parental property is passed off as dowry. In India they don’t treat their own daughter equally in their own home and want to pass the whole burden on the husband’s family & it is the husband’s family who has provided food, shelter and family to the woman.

    Now thinking beyond the gender arguments, and thinking about where did this word anti dowry come from.

    It came from the greedy parents and brothers of the girl itself. They do not want to give their daughters a fair share in the ancestral property; hence they say, “We are against dowry”.

    Feminists have created so much negative euphoria about the word dowry that people forget the daughter’s right in ancestral property.

    Greedy brothers who do not want to share wealth with sister & keep every thing / most tell that they oppose dowry.

    In whole world girls have right in father’s wealth but Indian’s are running this anti dowry campaign so that they do not share wealth with daughter / sister.

    Even what is given in India as dowry is mere 10 – 20% of the wealth share. This is descrimination happening to women.

    As per Indian law daughter has equal right in property. In practice much less is passed to her in marriage.

    As per Dowry Prohibition Act what ever is given as per wish of girl’s family has to be recorded. People should do this and would reduce the burden on judiciary of false dowry harrasment cases.

    The need for such stringent law as Sec 498a IPC for dowry is not understood as dowry is given as share in father’s wealth. The actual share is much more than what is given in marriage.

    Dowry / share in wealth is given through out world & only in India we have this law that husband is put in jail just on verbal allegation.

    Where as in other countries daughter gets equal share & same is recorded. Look at the divorce rate in west still they do not have problem in settling dues during divorce. In India there are few divorces but here only we have stringent law in favour of wife. Most educated men cannot come out of marriage without going to jail / huge settlement. Indian husband gets least & is punnished most.

    498a is an extortion racket
    In legal terms, 498A is an offence, which is:

    • Cognizable: Offences are divided into cognizable and non-cognizable. By law, the police are duty bound to register and investigate a cognizable offence. 498A is a cognizable offence.

    • Non-Bailable: There are two kinds of offences, bailable and non-bailable. 498A is non bailable. This means that the magistrate has the power to refuse bail and remand you to judicial or police custody.

    • Non-Compoundable: A non-compoundable case, e.g. Rape, 498A etc, cannot be withdrawn by the petitioner. The exception is in the state of Andhra Pradesh, where 498A was made compoundable.

    In actual terms, 498A is an offence, which is:

    • Cognizable: The police will register a 498A case since it is required by law, but they don’t investigate but go on to arrest people because of the money to be made in bribes from both sides in a 498A case.

    · Non-Bailable: Since bail is at the discretion of the magistrate, all sorts of games will be played to have families locked up while negotiations go on to settle the case. This may happen in cases where the magistrates are allegedly corrupt or, the public prosecutor and the cops are in cahoots.

    • Non-Compoundable: Though 498A is non compoundable, the courts are allowing the withdrawal of the case when the parties agree to reconcile or settle case. In real terms, if you pay up, the case goes away. If you don’t you’ll get stuck with a criminal case that will go on for years.

    The other characteristics of this extortion racket are:

    • It is a law that fosters corruption and enables Government agencies like the police to violate Fundamental Rights given in Constitution on India.

    • It plays a role in gender based vote bank politics.

    • It denies justice to the real victims of dowry harassment.

    • It exposes innocent families to the evils of the corrupt Indian criminal justice system.

    • Above all, this is a gamble bound to fail if the falsely accused choose to fight back.

    Now this law 498a is hardly put to use & more used for misuse by greedy people for extortion of money from husband & inlaws. Girls are misusing this by implicating husband & in laws for extortion of money. So called compromise is legal extortion where husband & his family have huge amounts.

    Motives And Instigators:
    Let’s start with the motives and instigators:

    • Money: The greatest of motivators. A 498A can lead to great terms for a fat cash settlement, or help her dad or sibling in their ventures, etc, etc.

    • Vengeance: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. She will have her revenge and your family will collectively bear the brunt of it. The 498A Wives have a soft corner for your mother and your sister (s). Prepare your mom and sister(s) for special treatment. They may very well see the inside of a prison.

    • Guilt: She’s done something wrong, may have committed adultery and got caught in the act. She wants to cover it up with a dowry harassment case to garner sympathy and to provide cover for her guilt. It also puts her in a good position to negotiate a fat settlement and gain custody of kids, if kids are involved. 498A will be filed when paternity is in question. Don’t count on DNA evidence, as the courts are reluctant to allow it. Indian law is still ruled by the evidence act from 1872.

    • She Is Just Not Into You: I’m sorry to hurt your pride, but she just doesn’t like you and wants to get out of the marriage. The 498A is a convenient tool to do so.

    • She Is A Control Freak: She wants to control you in every possible way. She may also want you to not support your parents and siblings in any fashion regardless of your ability to do so. She may want you to throw your parents out of your/their house. Her goal is to gain control of all aspects of your life, including finances and to break the bonds and responsibilities that tie you to your family. Her failure to do so will result in a 498A.

    Supreme Court of India has mentioned in Sushil Kumar Sharma Vs. Union of India (UOI) and Ors – Jul 19 2005:

    If a provision of law is misused and subjected to the abuse of the process of law, it is for the legislature to amend, modify or repeal it, if deemed necessary.
    It is to be noted that the role of the investigating agencies and the courts is that of watch dog and not of a bloodhound. It should be their effort to see that an innocent person is not made to suffer on account of unfounded, baseless and malicious allegations.

    If this law is made bailable the extortion can stop as today without investigation many innocent people go to jail. Let truth come out in investigation & guilty be punished.

    Punishment to innocent people is crime & no civilized nation can allow. Some of people who are falsely implicated have committed suicides & some died of heart attack also. Taking life of innocent people is biggest crime. India is continuing to punish its innocent people in the name of eradication of dowry.
    Stringent laws have cause more misuse than use. POTA is similar law but was repealed as many politicians [DMK] were implicated & thus Govt would have fallen due to withdrawal of support.

    Below are known people who have faced 498a:-
    Arjun Singh – Education Minister
    Bhupender Singh Hooda – CM Haryana
    Daughter of Renuka Chowdhary has used 498a in law.
    Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh’s sister-in-law’ s grand daughter Amaneet Kaur has filed.
    Sehnaz Hissain: Beutician
    Manoj Prabhakar- Cricketer
    Brother of Actress & MP from UP – Jaya Pradha
    Raja Choudhary – Big Boss [husband of actress Shewta Tiwari]
    PRASANTH – ACTOR
    Internationally also we are loosing face due to this law:
    Travel Advice by USA
    _____________________________
    “The abuse of anti-dowry laws has become serious enough that the United States Department of state has published a travel warning about “Dowry/Visa Demands” for travelers to India” – Lisa Tsering, India West, December 30th, 2004
    ______________________
    BBC & Guardian also talked about misuse of 498a.
    http://www.theworld.org/?q=node/20628
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/dec/13/india.randeepramesh1
    ______________________
    World Health Organization (WHO): daughters-in-law misusing the law, by reporting harassment by in-laws to the police, leading to maltreatment by the police to the in-laws.
    http://www.who.int/entity/ageing/projects/elder_abuse/alc_ea_ind.pdf
    ______________________
    United Nations: Section 498A has been used mainly as an instrument of blackmail…bail has been denied as a basic right…gross abuse…arresting, even before the trial has begun.
    http://www.un.org/womenwatch/daw/egm/vaw-gp-2005/docs/experts/kishwar.dowry.pdf
    ______________________

    As people go for compromise [legal extortion] results in 498a girl suggesting
    benefits to any other girl who is going for divorce.
    I have seen that a person who faced 498a put up 498a to get back what is lost.
    People are learning to do wrong from people who are successfully able to extort.
    After 498a girl side push for compromise which I call as legal extortion against what Supreme Court calls “LEGAL TERRORISM”.
    For each compromise 10 more girls who are friend/ relative of 498a girl will file 498a looking at the benefits.
    To stop 498a from spreading please do not compromise & fight case on merit.
    Affect – 498a girl will tell her friends that this is not tool for extorion of money.
    If people start to fight the cases & not give to extortion then message will be different.

  3. kaushal jha, you are not alone. please go through the site http://498a.org and this doc.. you will get answers for most of your questions

    http://498a.org/contents/publicity/498aSurvivalGuide.pdf

  4. Rajesh said

    Please be aware of the following 498a women:-
    She and her father specialize in filing 498a in their home city. The marriage proposal could be next door, make yourself aware about her first.

    Dr Sonal Goyal, MBBS, DGO

    D/O Rajendra Prasad Goyal
    Chaudhary Bhavan Road
    Morena, Madhya Pradesh

    Her father is a local small time politician and they specialize in filing 498a in their home district Morena.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Madhya Pradesh seems to be the hub of 498a activity – even my ex-wife Shruti Verma was from MP (Guna). Coincidentally even her father was a doctor (R K Verma). Her 4 maternal uncles own a shop ‘Nath Traders’ in Gwalior. Now she remarried again and lives in New Jersey USA.

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