Dedicated to my wife…

Read on to know what happens to men who marry in India

Jokes Section

> Judge: Why did you shoot your wife instead of shooting her lover?
Man: Your honor, it’s easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

> Judge to lawyer – ‘Do you think we judges are all idiots sitting here?’
Lawyer is silent.
Judge asked him – why are you not replying?
Lawyer – ‘I do not know what to say. If I say YES it will be contempt of court, if I say NO it will be perjury.

> Beggar – Sir, give me 12 Rupees. I want to buy coffee
Man – But coffee costs only 6 Rupees.
Beggar – I have to buy coffee for my girlfriend also.
Man – You made a girlfriend despite being a beggar?
Beggar – No Sir, girlfriend made me a beggar.

> Marriage is about becoming one. The problem starts when they start to decide which one

> Me and my wife are equals. We share equal responsibilities for household tasks. For example – cooking dinner. I cook. She eats. I do the dishes.

> A lady goes to a toys shop to buy a Barbie doll. She tells the sales person that she needs a Barbie doll but doesn’t know what is available and price. The sales person replies “We have Tennis Barbie and she’s $28. Lady asks “Well, anything else?” “We have an Scuba Diving Barbie and she’s $28″. Lady asks “Well, anything else?” “well, we have a divorced Barbie and that’s $250″. Lady replies “I don’t understand why divorced Barbie is so expensive. The others were only $28. What is so special about divorced Barbie?” The sales person replies “Simple, she comes with her ex-husband’s car, his house, and all his other stuff”.

> After a lengthy conference with the estranged husband, the lawyer reported  to his client, Mrs. Dhulia, I have succeeded in making a settlement with your husband that is entirely fair to both of you.?? Fair to both?!!? Exploded Mrs. Dhulia.? I could have done that myself. What do you think I hired a lawyer for?

> What is the past tense of marriage? Divorce

> Traditionally in India, when we exchange pleasantries we asked – Are you married or not? Very soon, a time will come when we will ask – Are you married or married and divorced?

>Wah prabhu kya leela teree :

Chuhe Billi se darte hai,
Billi Kutte se darte hai,
Kutta Aadmi se darte hai,
Aadmi Biwi se darta hai,
Biwi Chuhhe se darti hai.

Translated into English:

Great God, your system is strange!
Mouse is afraid of cat,
Cat is afraid of dog,
Dog is afraid of man,
Man is afraid of wife,
Wife is afraid of mouse!

Great God, your system is strange!

Mouse is afraid of cat,

Cat is afraid of dog,

Dog is afraid of man,

Man is afraid of wife,

Wife is afraid of mouse!

Does this mean? Women are scared of everything else (mouse, cat, dog), but still they rule the world because they have managed to make men scared of women

> WORLD IS ONLY for GIRLS

If A Girl Laughs Loudly
She Is Cheerful

If A Boy Laughs Loudly He Is Manner less

If A Girl Talks Sweetly
She Is Charming

If A Boy Talks Sweetly
He Is A Flirt

If A Girl Is Shopping
She Is Trendy

If A Boy Is Shopping
He Is Wasting Money

If A Girl Is Silent
She Is Feeling Sad

If A Boy Is Silent He Is Being Rude

If Girls Walk In A Group
Its A Group

If Boys Walk In A Group
Its A GANG

Kuri Na Hui, Frishta Ho gai

> >> Financial Planning

Dan was a single man living at home with his widowed father 
and working in the family business. 

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune 
when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife 
with whom to share his fortune. 

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the 
most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty 
took his breath away. 

“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but soon, 
my father will die and I will inherit $200 million.” 

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and 
three days later, she became his stepmother. 

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

> >> Bechara Mard

lets celebrate men’s day ” bechara mard”
agar aurat par haath uthaye to zalim, agar pit jaye to buzdil,
aurat ko kisi ke saath dekh ke ladai kare to jealous, chup rahe to be-gairat,
ghar se bahar rahe to aawara, ghar main rahe to nakara,
bachcho ko date to zalim, na date to la-parwah,
aurat ko service se roke to shakki, na roke to aurat ki kamai khane wala.
Akir ye bechara mard jaye to jaye kaha.!

JANHIT MAIN JARI .. NARI HAI ATYACHARI!

2 Responses to “Jokes Section”

  1. Gud ones

  2. Funny

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