Dedicated to my wife…

Read on to know what happens to men who marry in India

Posts Tagged ‘hyderabad’

Husband finds solution to false 498a

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on May 31, 2010

Husband finds better solution to false 498a – kills four of wife’s family

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Now, a forum for ‘tortured’ husbands

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on October 31, 2009

HYDERABAD:It wasn’t the voices of victimised women but those of men complaining of “wicked wives’’ that were heard the the most during this domestic violence awareness month that ends today, October 31.

The month may have been earmarked to coax women to step out of their homes to file cases against cruel husbands, but in Hyderabad men were seen asking “aggrieved’’ husbands to report the ill-treatment meted out to them by their wives.

Having found a confidant in each other, these men, claiming to be victims of false dowry harassment cases and domestic abuse, toured the city roads distributing pamphlets about the absence of a law to protect them against such ill-treatment and the need for more ‘male-oriented’ policies. They held campaigns and seminars where they accused the society of being biased towards women and prejudiced against men, and went from one locality to the other asking other traumatised husbands to come forward and report such incidents.

The ‘tortured spouses’ also launched an All-India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA) to take their battle to a higher level and call for a separate ministry for safeguarding the interests of men like them. “India even has a separate ministry for animals. Why should the men be left out then?” said S Venugopal, convener of Save India Family Foundation (SIFF), Andhra Pradesh chapter, the body that facilitated the launch of AIMWA. Venugopal, who joined this group around six months ago says that the awareness about these social groups is increasingly growing among men in the state who, unlike in the past, are now willing to
come out and share their experiences with the world. “When I joined SIFF there were indeed a few others like me. But today the numbers have doubled,” he said.

Parthasarathy T R, one of the founders of AIMWA agrees with this as he goes on to point out how the three helplines, that are available for such male victims, have not stopped ringing ever since they held these rallies. “Each of these numbers receive close to 30-40 calls a day as against 10-15 previously, from distressed husbands,” he said. These organisations are also conducting an increased number of counselling sessions for such men now, who they say, tend to develop suicidal tendencies if not attended to. “The pain and agony that men go through, when subjected to domestic violence is much like what women face, when ill-treated. But everybody sympathises with the women, the men find no listeners,” said Mohammed Jaleel a member of AIMWA adding, “Whenever I tried to tell people how I was wrongly framed, they either thought I was mad or was trying to cover my misdeeds of harassing my wife by saying all that. Nobody believed anything that I said until I joined this forum.”

Curiously, much like in the case of women, the stories of harassment of these husbands are also related to their in-laws. While some complain of their in-laws forcing them to become ‘ghar jamais’, others allege that their influential in-laws have got them beaten up by the police without even filing a case. Home truths of another kind.

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All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA)

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on October 12, 2009

Launch of “All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA)”

11 October 2009

Venue: Public Gardens, Opposite Jubilee Hall
Hyderabad, India

Why do we need an “All India Men’s Welfare Association”?

Welfare of boys and men has been seriously neglected in India over the last two decades. While proudly championing the cause of women’s rights and women’s empowerment, the government and society tacitly approved the propagation of anti-male sentiments, condoned the resultant diminution in value of men’s lives and supported blatant violation of men’s rights through discriminatory laws and policies. The growing apathy of the government and society towards the sufferings of men has necessitated the formation of an All India Men’s Welfare Association.

It has to be noted that while men still perform some of the most risky and challenging jobs in the society, and while the Government of India collects 82% of its tax revenue from men, not a single rupee has been allocated in the name of men’s welfare in the country’s budget in the last 60 years.

The National Family Health Survey, conducted by the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare, does not consider men’s health and welfare important. Enormous focus on women and children, and the mention of men only in relation to how they should contribute to the health and welfare of women and children, clearly indicates the apathy of the Government towards men.

The homepage of the Animal Welfare Board of India (AWBI) cites Vardhamana Mahavira, the sage of total non-violence, who said, “All beings are fond of themselves, they like pleasure, they hate pain, they shun destruction, they like life and want to live long. To all, life is dear; hence their life should be protected.” While Mahavira’s teachings seem to have inspired the Indian Government to assign a separate ministry to look after issues of Animal Welfare through AWBI, the same Government did not see any necessity to establish a Ministry for Men’s Welfare.

Several laws have been passed in the last 60 years in the name of protection of women and their empowerment. However, there are no laws to protect boys and men from any form of abuse or harassment within and outside the home. Men are being subjected to severe discrimination under law, and their basic human rights are being violated every day in the name of more and more legal provisions that claim to empower and protect women.

Thousands of men are becoming victims of “legal terrorism” unleashed through laws like Indian Penal Code Section 498A, Protection of Women Against Domestic Violence Act, adultery laws, laws against rape and sexual harassment, and even divorce, maintenance and child custody laws.

While society is applauding more and more women getting educated, entering the job market and challenging their traditional roles within the family and society, men are still being shackled to their traditional duties of protecting and providing for women, children and the aged.

The growing disregard and hatred against men in our society is forcing more than 56,000 Indian men to end their lives every year. According to statistics obtained from the National Crime Records Bureau, every year, twice as many married men, compared to women, commit suicides unable to withstand verbal, emotional, economic and physical abuse and legal harassment. Deaths of these men make for the brief stories we often read in newspapers stating that a certain man “killed himself due to family issues or financial problems”. While every death of a young married woman is converted into a case of dowry death leading to immediate arrest of the husband and in-laws, accompanied by media-hype, male-bashing and breast-beating, large-scale suicides of men do not cause any outrage in the society.

Domestic and social harmony will prevail only when women AND men are ensured their rightful, honorable place within and outside the home. In addition, when we ensure true gender equality under law, litigations will be reduced, legal terrorism and extortion through misuse of the law will be eliminated, and our human and financial resources can be employed for betterment of the society and the country.

The aim of AIMWA is to work towards providing protection for men and boys against gender discrimination, domestic violence, sexual harassment and other forms of abuse. The organization will also focus on related issues like physical and mental health of men, and the need for social changes, policy reforms and legal solutions to men’s problems.

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