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Read on to know what happens to men who marry in India

Posts Tagged ‘dowry’

एक ऐसी बारात, दुल्हे के हाथ में हथकड़ी

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on November 21, 2009

In Lucknow, there was a marriage procession, where all men were dressed as groom with handcuffs….. and many women who were accompanying them were also handcuffed. India is great !

http://in.jagran.yahoo.com/epaper/index.php?location=37&edition=2009-11-20&pageno=6

लखनऊ, 19
नवम्बर, (जागरण संवाददाता) : शहर में आज एक ऐसी बारात निकली जिसमें पकड़ी व सेहरा बांधे अधिकांश दुल्हे थे और उनकी हाथों में लगी थी हथकड़ी। साथ में
महिलाएं भी थीं। इनमें से भी कुछ के हाथ में हथकड़ी थी।
चौकिये नहीं! महिलाओं द्वारा कानूनी प्राविधानों का किये जा रहे दुरुपयोग
की बढ़ती संख्या के प्रति सरकार का ध्यान आकर्षित करने के लिए पति-परिवार
कल्याण समिति के बैनर तले निकली अनोखी बारात का यह दृश्य था। कलेक्ट्रेट से निकली यह बारात परिवारिक न्यायालय होते हुए विधान भवन धरना स्थल पर
पहुंचा। इस मौके पर पति-परिवार कल्याण समिति ने पुरूष आयोग, पुरूष विकास
मंत्रालय तथा पुरूषों की सुरक्षा व न्याय प्राप्ति के लिए कोई कानून बनाने
की मांग की। समिति के सचिव बृजेश अवस्थी का कहना है कि महिलाओं के लिए
बनाये गये कई कानून ऐसे हैं, जो पूर्णतया एकतरफा हैं। उन्होंने कहा कि
नेशनल क्राइम ब्यूरो के आंकड़े पर नजर डालें तो प्रत्येक वर्ष विवाहित
महिलाओं की तुलना में पुरुषों की अप्राकृतिक मृत्यु दोगुने से भी ज्यादा
हुई है।

 

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No Arrest in dowry harassment matters!

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on October 17, 2009

http://epaper.hindustandainik.com/artMailDisp.aspx?article=17_10_2009_013_006&typ=1&Archtype=&pub=324

  • No arrest in matters where the maximum punishment is less than 7 years
  • Law commission gave report to home minister
  • No need to review the provisions of stay

The path is clear for implementation of Cr.P.C. amendments that have mandated no arrest of the accused in cases leading to less than 7 years of imprisonment. Law commission, along with tightening the grip on police officials, has recommended the continual of recent amendements. The commission said it is un-necessary to ponder on the other section – 309. Staying the proceedings or not is a matter of court’s jurisprudence.

Under the new provisions 41-A, the police will not arrest the accused for crimes that are punishable with less than 7 years. In stead, the police can issue a notice ‘informing’ them that they should appear at the police station for investigations.

The commission said that the word ‘may’ should be changed to ‘will’ in the provisions. This implies that sending the notice to the accused should be made mandatory. Commission said this is to ensure that police officials do not benefit the accused under any political pressure or by unfair dealings. The commission also said that if the addressee of the notice hides own identity, then this can be a basis for arrest.

In the report, chief of the commission Justice A R Laxman clarified that the decision not to arrest the accused is equivalent to judicial directives. If a police official mis-uses powers, then he would be liable for contempt of court in addition to the departmental disciplinary action.

AMENDED SECTION 41-A: police will not arrest person accused with offenses punishable with less than 7 years. In stead, a notice will be issued to them. Only on a failure to follow notice can an arrest happen with the orders of a magistrate. Crimes like eve teasing, attempt to loot, and dowry torture will come out of the ambit of arrest. Till now, an arrest used to happen immediately after the registration of F.I.R. because offenses with more than 3 years punishment were cognizable.

Intention: stopping arrest in un-necessary and false cases. Also to reduce the crowd in jails

Opposition: Criminals will lose the fear of law

AMENDED SECTION 309: not to stay the case in the absence of lawyer

Intention: To reduce the burden of cases and controlling the tendency to delay proceedings for a long time

Opposition: lawyers said, this is against the natural principles of law. Accused will suffer because of this.

Dahej Pratadna Mamlon mein Giraftari Nahi

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Conviction rate in dowry death cases

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on October 11, 2009

This post is for all those who are fighting false cases related to dowry death and harassment.

IPC 304-B (Dowry death) is a much more severe law as compared to IPC 498-A (Dowry harassment).

As per Times of India, the conviction rate in dowry death cases is 0.52%.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-4014265,prtpage-1.cms

CHENNAI: Forty seven years after the demand for dowry was made illegal in the country, Tamil Nadu registered 194 cases of dowry deaths in 2008, according to data collected from the state crime records bureau (SCRB). While proof in the form of charred or partially burnt bodies was available for 57 of these cases, a majority of the other cases had bodily injuries and manifestations of other forms of cruelty as evidence. Till date, however, only one person has been convicted. This gives the state a conviction rate of 0.52%, which is just a shade better than the 0 % conviction rate registered for the year 2007.

Though KP Jain, director general of police, was unavailable for comment, legal and medical authorities ascribe the poor rate of conviction to a host of reasons shoddy investigation, hostile witnesses and multiple and often contradictory versions of the incident given by victims themselves moments before their death.

“Even though there is a proper legal procedure in place, majority of the fatal burns cases get registered or proven as accidental,” says Dr N Srinivasa Ragavan, professor of forensic medicine at government general hospital (GGH). Forensic experts in the city, in fact, say that this is the reason why only a small percentage of fatal burns cases get recorded as dowry deaths.

Statistics from the Kilpauk Medical College (KMC), centre for burns in Tamil Nadu, bear out their concern. For the year 2008 alone, the centre handled a whopping 1,277 cases of fatal burns, of which 68 % (869 ) were female victims. And these were cases from only Chennai city and adjoining districts like Thiruvallur, Kancheepuram and Chengalpattu. “Then how can only 57 cases be registered for an entire state of 31 districts?” says Ragavan. The concern over under-reporting of burns-related dowry deaths coupled with a poor rate of conviction looms heavily over the issue of dowry harassment and the status of women in the state.

Inside white-washed, disinfected rooms, cause of death in post-mortem reports of fatal burns cases read: shock, burns or complications arising from burns. If any of these cases involved the death of a woman married for not less than seven years, a complex legal procedure would follow.

According to Section 304 B of the Indian Penal Code, if the death of a woman who has been married for less than seven years is found to be caused by burns, bodily injury or any other unnatural circumstance, an inquest for dowry harassment has to be conducted by an executive magistrate or a revenue divisional officer. If the inquest establishes that the victim was subjected to dowry harassment before her death, then her demise is termed a dowry death and her in-laws and husband can be held liable. This apart, if a burns victim is in a critical state, a judicial magistrate can be called in to record her version of the incident as a dying declaration’, which can later be used as evidence during prosecution.

“To begin with, we know when a case of fatal burns is accidental, suicidal or homicidal by the distribution of burns suffered by the victim,” says Dr R Selvakumar, professor, forensic medicine, GGH. “There have been numerous instances when we have been told that the woman got burnt while cooking because the stove burst. If this is the case, then the woman should have suffered burns only on the front portions of her body. Her back would have been spared,” he explains. Moreover, if a woman has set herself on fire while standing, then her soles would still remain unaffected, he adds.

The low incidence in reporting fatal burns cases as dowry deaths is not just linked to shoddy investigation but also to attempts by victims and families to hush up the incident to save family honour.

“On numerous occasions, witnesses, usually family members, turn hostile,” says advocate cum human rights activist Sudha Ramalingam. “They don’t want to provide evidence against their own kin. At other times, relatives hush up the issue as they feel the child, which is already motherless, should not be made fatherless too,” she adds.

Another reason why a majority of fatal burns cases are dismissed off as accidental is due to the presence of multiple and contradictory dying declarations issued by victims themselves, which weaken chances of prosecution. Dr Ragavan recalls a 15-year-old case where the victim who admitted to being set fire by her mother-in-law to him, contradicted her own statement in the presence of the magistrate. “The woman had suffered third degree burns. But she didn’t want to go ahead with the complaint as she felt that if she did survive, she would have to live with the same family,” Ragavan says.

Opinions vary over how many fatal burns cases are genuine cases of dowry deaths across medical and investigative authorities. A senior professor with the forensic department says, “In my opinion, less than 5 % of fatal burns cases are caused by dowry harassment. Abetment of suicide forms another 50 % per cent. The rest of the cases are suicidal.” A statement concurred to by a high-ranking police officer who spoke on condition of anonymity.

“These days, men, women and children are driven to extreme action with the slightest of provocations,” the officer says. “The figures thrown up by the SCRB are in keeping with reality. People are socially-aware and it’s only in the rarest of rare cases that dowry harassment goes unreported.”

This year, between January 1 – 15, the corkboards at the four government hospitals registered 49 cases of fatal burns cases. With a conviction rate of 0.52%, only time will tell how many of these will emerge as genuine cases of dowry deaths.

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2-months old arrested for dowry

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on September 27, 2009

57 days old child was arrested for taking dowry. This can happen only in India

http://wp.me/plC3a-3E

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Dog exempted from appearing in court

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on May 17, 2009

Chhotu, a dog who has been dragged in a 10 month old case, finally got a repreive from a court here from making rounds of courtroom for its production in a case lodged against his mistress for breaching peace and tranquillity.

Sub-Divisional Officer Ashwini Dattatrey Thackeray yesterday dropped a case against Chhotu’s mistress Raj Kumari Devi on the ground that the time-frame fixed under section 107 of CrPC for hearing the case has expired.

The six-month time-frame has already expired in the case and hence it was being dropped against Raj Kumari Devi, the SDO said.

The court has dropped the case on technical ground and it was never heard on its merit as the case has been deferred for umpteen times during floods and Lok Sabha elections since the filing of the case in July last year, said Dilip Kumar Dipak who defended the dog and his mistress.

The court had ordered that the mongrel would be produced on every date alongwith his mistress Raj Kumari Devi but since the case stood no longer, the pet animal would not be required to appear in the court, the counsel said.

Shambhu Das and Jagdish Das had alleged that the dog was mad and could cause serious injuries to the residents of Tatmatoli locality of the town area.

http://www.ndtv.com/news/offbeat/dog_gets_relief_from_making_rounds_of_court.php

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Marry shades of grey!

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on May 16, 2009

Read below an article from Deccan Herald where it says girls think guys are hiding some ‘handicaps’ if they do not ask for dowry!

Harassed husbands? The SC’s recent observation calling for a review of dowry laws (on the grounds that they are often misused) might have women’s organisations up in arms but more and more ‘harassed’ husbands have been raising their voices after being falsely implicated. Sriranjitha Jeurkar investigates why many dowry cases no longer remain plain black and white today

My name is Kumar. I am 28 years old. I wanted to marry a poor girl, so that I could help a poor family. When I told my father about this, he suggested that I marry the daughter of one of his distant relatives, from a town in Andhra Pradesh. I believed that when he had chosen nothing but the best for me until now, he could not go wrong in this decision either. I agreed. I didn’t know much about the family, except that the girl’s father was a bus conductor. We demanded no dowry and even agreed to foot the wedding expenses.
It was a perfect wedding. My wife and I lived together for a month and she went back to her home for some rituals. That’s when I realised I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease from her. I was too embarrassed to tell my parents. When I asked my wife about it, she confessed that she had had an affair with someone else and had married me due to pressure from her family. “You didn’t ask for dowry, so we thought you had something to hide too,” she said.
I was shocked. But I wanted to save my marriage, so I asked her to come with me for treatment. She wasn’t interested. She told me that she would give me a divorce by mutual consent if I gave her Rs 5 lakh. And she didn’t want to discuss the matter with her parents because she was afraid they’d take away the money from her.
Still, I was glad she had told me the truth. I told my parents. Then my company sent me abroad for a project. We applied for divorce by mutual consent, and before I left, both of us went to the family court on six occasions. After I returned to India, she went back home saying that her mother was ill, and didn’t return — not even to attend the hearings. All of a sudden, she started saying that she didn’t want a divorce, and demanded that I pay her Rs 25,000 a month as maintenance. She claimed that I was earning far more than I really was, that my family had a lot of property (which is untrue) and said we had thrown her out of the house because she refused to bring Rs 2 lakh from her parents. She claimed that her family had spent a sum of Rs 10 lakh to conduct the wedding. She even went to the extent of saying that we had forged her signature on the divorce petition!
She filed a dowry case, and I was named as an accused — along with my mother, dad, cousin and aunt. I was taken into custody and stayed there for seven days, despite my family producing documents, which refuted her claims. She told me that if I paid her Rs 10 lakh in cash, she would withdraw the case. But she also had another demand —that I give it to her in writing that I am impotent.
My aged parents had to wait for three months to get bail. We were stripped, and our fingerprints taken, as if we were petty criminals.
Until then, we knew very little about the law, and even less about Section 498A. My parents, at one point were on the verge of committing suicide. Due to all the stress, my performance at work suffered. I was terminated. Three years later, the case is still on — and I am still looking for a job. I received three job offers — all of which were withdrawn once they conducted a background check and found out that I had a case pending against me. My future looks uncertain, but there’s one thing I’m sure about: I have lost faith in the institution of marriage. I will never marry again.

Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code (Dowry Prohibition and Prevention of Marital Cruelty) is aimed at protecting the woman from harassment — from either her husband or her in-laws. But the loopholes in the law have led to misuse by women across the country. The common perception, that a helpless woman is abused for dowry by her husband’s family and the law is her only saviour — is being turned on its head.
Bangalore-based advocate Shankarappa, who has been practicing law for the last 18 years, handling many high-profile cases, says that he has seen at least 120 cases of dowry harassment in his career, “But unfortunately about 100 of the complainants had falsely implicated their husbands and husbands’ families.”
Advocate M T Nanaiah says that approximately 80 per cent of the 600 dowry-related cases he has handled over 32 years have turned out to be false implications. “Most of the remaining 20 per cent cases are mostly small disagreements that arise in every household. They get converted into dowry harassment cases.”

No warrant, no investigation

What is it about the anti-dowry law that makes such blatant misuse possible? First, the entire case hinges on the statement or allegations made by the wife.  A single oral complaint can land the husband’s family in jail. No investigation or warrant is needed before police arrest the husband or his family, or begin proceedings. It is non-bailable; the accused must appeal before the court to seek bail. It is not compoundable: the complaint cannot be withdrawn. Worst of all, there is no punishment against the petitioner if the complaint is proved false. Besides, legal experts argue, since the police do not require any proof before arrest, it takes away a basic human right.
“Once a woman lodges a complaint, the husband and his relatives are implicated. Even the police register complaints without investigation. They drag the husband, aged in-laws and even young children to the station. The charges may be proved false later, but a criminal record is a criminal record, after all,” says Shankarappa.
Lawyers say that most women who file false dowry complaints do so for a few common reasons: to get out of a marriage; to get money, or a favourable divorce settlement; if they had a premarital affair, and were married off by force; for child custody; if they want an attitude change in the behaviour of the husband or the family; to take revenge on their husbands, or in most cases, to get out of a joint family setup.
And ironically, the law that aims at helping women, ends up harassing women too. The Save Indian Family Foundation contends that on an average, 30,000 women are jailed every year in connection with dowry cases. “Once the woman files a complaint, the mother-in-law, sister-in-law are also arrested. Why restrict the law to protecting only the wife? What kind of protection do these women have?” asks Philip, whose family was falsely implicated in a case. Virag Dhulia, a member of the Bangalore Chapter of the Save Indian Family Foundation — an organisation that provides support to harassed husbands — narrates his horror story. “A few months after our wedding, my wife went back to her parents’ home and didn’t return. She said she wouldn’t return unless I agreed to live away from my parents. Then her family filed a dowry harassment case against us,” he says.
Dhulia recalls how his parents, who are in their sixties, suffered for months — the fear of being arrested, anxiety about the regular court visits, and the outcome of the case, the shame and humiliation, all adding to their health problems.
In what is probably the first such instance in the State, Dhulia has filed a complaint against his wife for giving dowry. “My wife has, in her complaint, stated that she and her parents gave me dowry in the presence of their relatives. According to the Dowry Prohibition Act, taking, giving and abetting the giving of dowry is a crime — the giver and taker are equally culpable. I have not accepted dowry; but if as per her claim, she says she has given dowry, then she is guilty too.”
He says that at first, the police refused to file an FIR. “Then I went to the ACMM Court. The magistrate there took cognizance of this complaint and asked the jurisdictional police to investigate into the matter and file a report,” he explains.
Even four months after the court’s order, no action has been taken, Dhulia alleges. “I have now filed an RTI application to get information about the progress of the investigation, but have still not received any info.”
Help is at hand
The social stigma was what prompted Arun Murthy, yet another ‘498A victim’ to set up Sangyabalya — a helpline for ‘husbands and families victimised by the anti-dowry laws.’
The helpline was set up in 2003, after Murthy’s sister-in-law filed a dowry harassment complaint against his younger brother. “She was from an orphanage, and she said we had demanded dowry. It was ridiculous,” Murthy says. After his entire family — including his mother and sister were implicated — Murthy’s brother, a hardware engineer, lost his job and became a mental wreck. “I saw how the system works — people are arrested on Friday evening, so they cannot get bail. They have to stay in jail till Monday. And consider this — if you are a government employee, and you are in jail for more than 24 hours, even if under false accusations, then your job is in jeopardy.”
Murthy then wrote to a newspaper, and received many calls from other victims. That’s when he set up a helpline for these harassed husbands. A few months later, Sangyabalya was registered as an NGO.  “A lot of people are on the verge of suicide after being arrested. We give them moral support.  Sometimes, the lawyers take them for a ride, so we extend legal aid too. But most importantly, it is a collective voice for proper representation of our problems,” he says.
The Save Indian Family Foundation, another organisation that aid people implicated under Section 498A, was first set up as an online community, but later evolved into an NGO. The Foundation now has set up helplines for men in distress. The members of the Bangalore chapter meet at Cubbon Park every Saturday. New members who approach the Foundation are given moral support, and legal advice. “Usually when someone is implicated like this, he tends to feel that he is the only one facing such a problem. When they come here and see that they are not alone, then they feel that they have some support.”
Members of the foundation, who come from various backgrounds — from software to government service — study the law and help each other with inputs on how to fight their cases.
There are several other organisations working for these ‘harassed husbands’, but most of them have common demands. “The problem arises from extravagant marriages. The giving and taking of dowry should be tackled. No one makes it a point to stop this at the source. After all, prevention is better than cure,” says Dhulia.
Murthy agrees, “There should be a mandatory registration of marriages with a record of all gifts exchanged. These gifts are referred to as dowry when things go wrong. And such disputes are family matters. There should be proper counselling available, before the woman goes to the police.”
He adds, “The law in itself is not bad. What we need is thorough checks and balances to ensure that it is not misused. We assume that women are all white and men, all black. We must acknowledge that there are shades of grey everywhere.”
But most important, these organisations say, is to make provision for action against those who file false complaints, and to ensure that no arrests are made without proper evidence. “Once the complainant sends her husband and his family to jail, chances of reconciliation are few. She thinks its a victory. But that’s the only victory, things go downhill from there,” Murthy says.
That probably underlines the need for a thorough review of the law as it exists now. The loopholes have to be plugged, activists say, and soon. For the welfare of the women, so that genuine victims of dowry harassment do not suffer because of those who have misused the law. That is the only hope, for the welfare of hundreds of women across the country.

(Some names have been changed to protect identities.)

Review necessary?

Justice J D Kapoor of the Delhi High Court had recommended a review of the dowry laws. He suggested that Sections 406 (misappropriation of dowry articles) and 498A (harassment for dowry) be made bailable and if necessary, compoundable, in cases where no grave physical injury has been inflicted.
He had observed, “There is a growing tendency to come out with inflated and exaggerated allegations roping in each and every relation of the husband and if one happens to be of higher status or of vulnerable standing, then he or she becomes an easy prey for blackmailing and bargaining.” Some suggestions of the judge are:
Such cases should be investigated by civil authorities, and cognisance taken only after findings. Only police officer above the rank of ACP should investigate harassment and misappropriation of items. A DCP should investigate dowry death cases.
When minor, schoolchildren are named, they should not be arrested or sent to court.

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/2615/marry-shades-grey.html

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Domestic violence claims men too

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on December 24, 2008

And they call it a man’s world? Indian men are victims of domestic violence too but can not even come out in open and cry like women do!

http://timesofindia .indiatimes. com/Bangalore/ Domestic_ violence_ claims_men_ too/articleshow/ 3876342.cms

BANGALORE: Family problems are the cause of most suicides in the country. While the number of suicides increased by 28% over the last decade, they went up by 3.8% in the past year. Only 5% of these are attributed to financial
reasons while family problems triggered 23.8%, according to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) which recently published the 2007 statistics.

Members of the Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) on Monday drew attention to these statistics, which also show that every year, the number of men committing suicide is much higher than that of women.

More married men (57,593) committed suicide last year than married women (30,064). “In 11 years, 1,56,000 married men killed themselves due to domestic violence. Yet, the government doesn’t feel the need to protect
them. Society ridicules them as weak and irresponsible and cites financial reasons as the cause of their suicide. Also, there is a hue and cry when women commit suicide and the husbands’ family is dragged to the police station on suspicion that they must have forced her to suicide. For men, there is hardly any investigation, ” said Anil Kumar, secretary, SIFF.

The organization urged the government to set up a men’s welfare ministry and a national commission for men to study the problems, allocate a men’s budget, provide homes for those trapped in domestic violence, among other things.

Members of Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP), a sister concern of SIFF, identified that men not allowed custody of their children was also an issue of concern leading to stress and depression among divorced men and, in some cases, suicide.

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Parents worsen rocky marriages

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on December 24, 2008

I completely agree: Shruti’s parents were so protective about their daughter that they wanted to control everything that happens in her life even after marriage. If they would not have interfered,  probably my wife and I would have understood each other and have had a happy married life.

*”Unwanted advice of parents should be avoided while tackling crisis situations in a relationship”*

A report published by a Florida-based marriage counsellor said parents may invariably accelerate the break up process if a marriage is on the rocks. “Unwanted advice of parents should be avoided while tackling crisis situations in a relationship. The couples ought to be independent to make their own decisions,” it said.

Dr Rajan Bhonsle, a Mumbaibased marriage counsellor says, “Parents are very possessive about their children. Somehow, they become jealous of the new person in their children’s life. They don’t want to give away their children
even after marriage and keep pouring in advice — which very often is one of the major causes of a marriage break up.” He feels the situation can become more vulnerable in the initial stage of a marriage, as there is a lack of understanding already, and parents’ biased advice just adds to it. This becomes an even bigger problem when the other partner is not liked by the parents.

However, Dr Jyoti Sangle, visiting psychiatrist at Hiranandani Hospital says, “A marriage is made between two mature individuals. They need to be responsible, and so you can’t solely blame parental advice for a split.” She says that parents always have a soft corner for their child, and so they often fail to analyse the situation rationally. It is also because there are so many personal and social emotions attached.

“Importantly, if a marriage is under stress, parents need to be informed about it. But always seek advice from professionals — someone who can look at the situation objectively, like marriage counsellors,” adds Dr Sangle.

Dr Bhonsle warns that as a mature individuals, couples must communicate with each other regularly and openly, as a lack of communication only adds to the problem. “Selfishness, ingratitude and lack of understanding are the
hallmarks of an unhappy marriage,” he adds, “And in this case, it is vital that the couple be independent enough to take their decisions.” Dr Sangle adds, “When you see problems in your marriage, always seek professional help. But understanding, communication and respect is important to keep a marriage alive.”
http://www.dc-epaper.com/DC/DCB/2008/12/23/ArticleHtmls/23_12_2008_110_004.shtml?Mode=1

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Women cling to clothes longer than marriages

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on December 24, 2008

Women cling to clothes longer than hubbies

22 Dec 2008, 0000 hrs IST, ANI
http://timesofindia .indiatimes. com/Lifestyle/ Women_cling_ to_clothes_ longer_than_ hubbies/articles how/3797516. cms

Women keep their favourite piece of clothing for an average of 12 years – which is longer than the length of many marriages – according to a British survey.

The study also confirmed what many men already knew – despite splashing thousands of pounds on clothes women only wear a third of their wardrobe. The woman’s favourite item, which on an average costs less than 50 pounds, is kept for 12 years, the research for The Clothes Show Live revealed.

It may be a skirt, a dress, or a pair of shoes, but it is what a woman will feel the most attractive in, reports the Telegraph . The finding underlines the deep attachment many feel to particular pieces of clothing.

Gavin Brown, the show’s managing director, said, “It seems that women have a lasting affinity with their wardrobes – 12 years is a long time in the shelf life of an item of clothing.”

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College life goes beyond kisses

Posted by iluvshrutiverma on December 24, 2008

Contrary to the common belief that boys are more sexual,  Read on to find out that girls are more characterless as compared to boys: “the percentage of non-virgins in the age group of 18 to 20 is 65.6 among girls and 63.3 among  boys”

BANGALORE, 24 DECEMBER: A quick kiss goodnight in the front seat of a car is where it all begins.  Running home after a hug in a crowded street, snuggling at the movie theatre  or holding hands while walking through a mall, relationships are becoming
more public by the second, and also more intimate.

Long gone are the days when relationships meant merely spending time with  one another. They have taken on new meanings today with the physical aspect in the spotlight.  Pre-marital sex is no longer considered a taboo among youngsters. According  to a survey conducted by Avishkaar, a counselling clinic, the percentage of
non-virgins in the age group of 18 to 20 is 65.6 among girls and 63.3 among  boys
.

“Youngsters get carried away in the heat of the moment”, says Viren  Michael, a law student. Be it a social gathering or a party, if the  opportunity presents itself, youngsters on certain occasions can’t stop, or  say no, adds Viren.
Knowledge and exposure have triggered curiosity among teens. Unanswered or  wrongly answered curiosity can result in consequences such as Sexually  Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and unwanted pregnancies. “Youngsters must be
informed about contraceptive methods and STDs to make them responsible, ”  says Dr Chandra Mansukhani, a gynaecologist.

A survey of 20 college students in the city reveals that today’s teenagers  are willing to experiment with sex. When asked about unwanted pregnancies,  the same set of students felt that with the right protection such a problem
will not arise.  But then again, it is a known fact that a condom can only be 95 to 97%  effective. Pallavi Mehta, a journalism student, says that abortions are  found, more than rarely, among those her age.

Most don’t want to lose out on the fun aspect of life, she says, adding that abortions are the only way out of a pregnancy, unless the girl would rather spend her days raising a child instead of going out and living her
own life.

According to counsellors and parents, there are several reasons why  youngsters are experimenting with sex. In India, you need to be 16 to have a  sexual relationship; that’s the legal age. Affluence, changing lifestyles,
free access and consumption of alcohol and drugs allow young adults to shed  inhibitions faster.

Peer pressure and broken homes result in an increased urge to experiment.  “It is for this reason that it is necessary to have sex education in schools  as well as at homes today”, says a counsellor.  M Bhatt, a banker, agrees with this view. “Advertisements and TV serials  talk of westernised lifestyles. Our kids are exposed to this and are  naturally drawn in at a very young age,” he says.  Pre-marital sex is no longer an unspoken taboo; it is a reality that must  be accepted and dealt with. And awareness is the first step towards this.

With evolving trends in society, it is necessary to ensure the open availability of worthwhile information on sex.
Stereotyping sex into a taboo by a large chunk of society will only  complicate matters for future generations. That is a big worry.

http://epaper.dnaindia.com/dnabangalore/newsview.aspx?eddate=12/24/2008&pageno=4&edition=9&prntid=389&bxid=27935846&pgno=4

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